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Disrespecting women

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  • Disrespecting women
    December 05, 2011

    I'm wondering how most women feel when there are songs calling women the b or h name? I try not to be offended by it because I don't feel like I am either one of those. Women had to fight for so much in this country to get to where we are today. So many women around the world aren't so lucky to have it this good. I never thought Trey used those words to descibe women until I heard his mixtapes and not this new single. I would just like to know what other women think about this topic. Thanks!

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Trey'sAngelMichelle's picture
on Dec 5, 2011 - 12:02AM

I'm wondering how most women feel when there are songs calling women the b or h name? I try not to be offended by it because I don't feel like I am either one of those. Women had to fight for so much in this country to get to where we are today. So many women around the world aren't so lucky to have it this good. I never thought Trey used those words to descibe women until I heard his mixtapes and not this new single. I would just like to know what other women think about this topic. Thanks!

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JesusIsMySavior's picture

Interesting question@Uriel I wonder that myself.

TREYZONELOVE_2's picture

Ok, so u give what u want to get in return! With that being said, if a female dont respect herself how do u expect anyone to respect u. U have to love urself first before anyone can love u. Because if u dont love u, u wont know what good love is when u get it. N when that does happen a good man/woman now thinks evry body else is like that. If a man respects women he will do just that, but when he meets a female that carries herself as a h' or b', TRUST he will treat her as such! As far as Treys rap, I think its part truth (his expereince) and part jus entertainment. Oldest sayin in the book " u got to give respect to earn respect" thats to urself n others. Like I said before the music/lyrics dont bother me bcuz he isnt talkin about me or anyone I know. Its women that go out here n sleep wit men tryin to have they babies, especially if they a celebrity, dont even get me started on that. Go from men to men tryin they hardest to get pregnant. They have websites on "HOW TO BE A GROUPIE" n "GROUPIE CONFESSIONS". Please explain to me how do u expect a man to respect a female like that!!!!! She has absolutley no respect for herself. Im not tryin to put women down but its whats real! This excludes women who are in abusive relationships, although they have to find their self worth n love themselves as well.

Tricia AKA @GimmeUnusual's picture

In my Twitter profile it says, "I am who God says I am: Intelligent, beautiful, destined for greatness and loved." God doesn't use a derogatory term to describe me; therefore, no, I'm not at all insulted or let down every time Trey uses a derogatory term. I know who I am and I don't allow music or other people's word dictate my value. I couldn't imagine Trey being any other way and I'd never want him to change unless it's for HIS betterment. If people are really sensitive to the disrespect, it goes way beyond the use of bitches and hoes. Cheating is in his music...being a one-nighter (Don't Love Me)..."Would U think a nigga rude if I said I wanna f*ck right now?"...the bluntness...which is why I just love this man. No I am soooo not offended. I just want Trey to be him & make the freaky, kinky, audio-pornography he continues to make. LOL

Trey'sAngelMichelle's picture

I never started this topic to put Trey down. I'm just wondering why women are talked about this way in so much of the music today. Maybe there are a lot more of those types of women these days! Lol!

ladinicole87@gmail.com's picture

I know I'm not either of those words so it doesn't bother me as much. There are women in this world who do act like hoes and I know its not nice to label them but that's what they are. Now the lines in his mixtape crack me up bc he just so raw with it.Sometimes we females do act like bitchy dudes do the samething so the bitches and hoes and go either way.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

“I would like to conclude my post by saying this: we as women need to understand our value and our worth. The worth of something is determined by the price one is willing to pay for it. You are valuable, too ladies. Stop giving a man everything and downgrading your worth to a one night stand. If you’re worth it, he should be willing to pay the price for you (not the other way around) I know my worth; I’m an expensive commodity. Are you lol? :)”

True!! :)

JesusIsMySavior's picture

“Many women like Trey Songz because they think he’s attractive and sounds good, and would still like him even if he said or did something they didn't like. And in real life, they would settle for these types of men. That dude they’re dating could talk bad to them and they would stay because he looks good. He could be sleeping with many women and they would stay with him because he talks a good game. This IS an important issue for us as women. We shouldn’t want to date a guy just because he looks good or is a man of stature but because he is a man of character; it is his character that will be climbing in the bed with you every night, talking to you, and going with you through life’s trials.”

You have a valid point. Since I became a fan of Trey’s and I have seen interviews and what have you and I have come to the conclusion that Trey tends to have a good sense of people. He tends to gives people what they want. Whether its sex, flirtation, a kiss, a hug, an autograph, confrontation, or conversation. Whatever it is he will do his best to give it to you. In his music he speaks of women he has dealt with basically co-signing whatever he does in a relationship. Perhaps those women did let things slide because he is an attractive man or because of his status and that could be why he treats some women a certain way. I think Trey needs and wants a woman that brings him down a notch. Of course he loves the praise and compliments but he knows he needs a woman that will keep it real with him. I truly believe that once Trey truly falls in love with that special someone his lyrical content will change.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

@humbleheart:

“Another point I think needs to be made, is a lot of women who tolerate men saying things like that about other women (this is my opinion), do so because they settle for those types of men.”

This could be the case for certain women, but certainly not me. I would never want to be with a man that called me or any woman for that matter a bitch, hoe or any other derogatory name. Personally that would be a red flag to let me know that he may not view women well.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

@humbleheart:

I will say in Top Of The World it does appear that Trey is making contradictory statements. From what I gather from that verse is that if he was a young lady’s father he would be an involved parent and instill positive qualities/values in that young lady. Therefore by doing so she would avoid guys like Trey that are only interested in one thing. Plus more or less he saying to the lady you want more from than I can give. She wants to hold a special place in his life but that may not happen. I don’t think he is saying take what he is saying as a compliment. He is being as real as possible. He is saying thanks for giving up the va jay jay but I don’t want you like that.

I think Trey is very aware that he has issues that need to be dealt with, especially spiritual ones. He is a God believing brother and I know he tries his best to please God. However, I know it’s a daily struggle for him when it comes to certain things especially fornication and possible other weaknesses.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

@humbleheart

“That being said, I think that it is important (note, that I’m speaking in general) for people to have individuals in their lives who will challenge them and inspire them to be a better person. This requires honesty with those you care about, while presenting the truth in love.”

I agree.

“Also, the comment that I made about Trey Songz disrespecting women was made because I felt that a lot of his fans wouldn’t tell him the truth. The majority of his fans are so caught up in how ‘fine’ he is or what he looks like with his shirt off that they’re not willing to tell him the truth.”

I wouldn’t say the majority of his fans, but I will agree there is a portion of his fans that wouldn’t keep in 100% with him.

“Furthermore, I don’t think a lot of celebrities get the privilege of growing in character because there aren’t people willing to tell them the truth; and when someone does, all of the followers get angry, not realizing that worshipping someone and praising someone for everything they do does not push them to be a better person.”

I agree.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

@Una Feliz Ángel: I'm with you when I don't like a certain song I skip the song.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

There are things about Trey's lyrics and some of his actions that have me raising my eyebrow every so often. Trey is young and he is a work in progress. Through positive life experiences the brother will evolve into a better man. Like I said before he is apart of generation that expresses themselves differently than past generations. I don't want to pass judgment on the brother because I truly don't know him and besides I'm not in the judging business that is God's responsibility. Just keep the brother in prayer.

TreysQuietAngel's picture

It does not offend me when artists use these terrible words to describe females because I know who I am and what I stand for. I am a women who respects myself greatly and have much dignity so when I hear artist using such language about females, I ignore it cause hell they aren't talking to me or about me. Now it'd be a different thing if they said ALL women are this or that. Then, I'd have a problem with the artist because every woman is not this or that. It's the kind of women they like n drool all over that are this and that. I was disappointed when I heard Trey using that kind of language, but wasn't surprised. Trey is an artist, he gives the people what they want to hear (well most of them cause I don't want to hear anything about b's and h's). Overall, I really don't believe he means any harm to anyone by his music but if you're like me, don't listen to it if you don't like it.

TREYZONELOVE_2's picture

@HUMBLEHEART Who are u to say what Trey has experienced n what he hasnt. Trey is rappin about what he likes n does. If u dont like his rap, then dont listen to it. Trey was fappin,before he ever became a singer. I believe he respects women, who respect themselves. If u carry urself in a certain manner people will notice n act upon it. Please dont qudstions anyones character. If u feel like Tremaine isnt where u,think he should be, then we will see u when he get there. Treys rappin is what he wants, not the record labels. His music has never been geared towards young women who are fatherless or young men who r out in the streets,so why would it be now.

TREYZONELOVE_2's picture

It does not offend me at all because I know that I am none of those names. Its sad to say but the women who Trey and any other artist refer to by that name act as such. No man can call me by that name because I do not carry myslef in that manner. And as someone stated previously it has becaome a part of the hip hop culture.

And I feel like me or any other woman should not be offended, if they are none of those names. And I personally dont worry about what Tremaine or any other artist refers to other women as, just so long as it isnt me, his mumma, or daughter (if he ever has any) or any female family member! And if any man feels like all women are b*tches n h*es then he has no place in my life and is very irrelevent.

The women that Trey and other male artist deal with rarley have respect for themselves and will go to any length just to say I slept with so n so! Like nothin else in their life matters except how many artist theyve slept with and what they were able to get out of the deal.These women will stoop to any level and I do mean any level to get with these guys.

Tremaine isnt talkin about me in any of those songs. And yes women have fought and come a long way to get respect from men, but a lot of women really dont care about that. Just remember that u are none of those words and that Trey is not talking about you but the women that throw themselves at him!

Numba1Hon's picture

I felt a little uneasy too hearing Trey so easily refer to women as b*tches and hoes, and I was somewhat surprised by the sex sounds and the racy sexual imagery. My take is Trey could make “cleaner” versions of explicit Singles---especially for younger fans and concerned parents and for adults that like Hip Hop but are more comfortable with less explicitness. This would also be good for award shows. Trey said that when he performs live on BET, he will clean it up.

Trey is one of our most beloved under 30 R&B artists and I hope the impact of the explicitness does not tarnish his image. To me he is a bad boy, but he is also sweet and attentive and loving towards woman. He has his moments though where he likes to express himself with choice language. He is also very sexual but most of us are not complaining. As previously stated, the explicit language, dialogue and sexual imagery is true to the Hip Hop genre and Trey has a Hip Hop and R&B fan base. His hip hop persona is Trigga.

I think Trey was flexing his wings, having fun and creating freely without inhibition, and I think feeling free must be exhilarating and probably helps him to create and be stronger lyrically. Overall, the music is very good including lyrics, beats and arrangements. I think he outdid himself on a lot of it. Also, a redeeming factor is that the EP, Inevitable, is raising money for a good cause—the work and charity of Angels With Heart.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

@mekaloves86 Exactly! It isn’t all women, but sometimes for some men it’s hard to separate a woman that carries herself well and one that doesn’t. Although some of the roughest brothers know a respectable woman when they see one. It doesn’t help that many women refer to themselves as bitches and hoes either. I know we are in a do you type of world now but I think more young ladies need positive examples of how a lady should carry herself.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

It may feel like a step backwards but we can play a role in changing that.

Trey'sAngelMichelle's picture

Women have come so far and I feel like this is taking a step backward.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

It is sad that some men uses derogatory words to describe women. This is why we as women have to teach the next generation to do better.

Trey'sAngelMichelle's picture

Thanks for your insight ladies:)

Trey'sAngelMichelle's picture

I guess you're right about using the b word to describe other women sometimes. I know I have done it. It just seems worse coming from a man for some reason. It does seem to be in a lot of music and that makes me wonder why. I don't think women will ever be treated equal. It makes me sad.

msamaris@hotmail.com's picture

I thought it was just me. I was kind of let down when I listen to the mix tapes. I don't think it is right. But that is what they do in Hip Hop music. I thought Trey would not took it there but he did. But I know what I am and what I am not. I am not a bitch nor ho. So I take it for what it is music and Trey is putting out music that he feels people want to hear. I am a grown woman but don't want my little girl listening to it. I have a people with young kids listening to that kind of music. Just my take on the whole thing.

JesusIsMySavior's picture

Well when I first heard Trey use offensive words to describe a woman I wasn’t surprised. He is just like a lot of men in his generation that use questionable words to express themselves. However I don’t want to past judgment on him or any other man because they use those words. It’s obvious that many men come across women that carry themselves like bitches and hoes and know Trey sees a lot more than the average man. I truly believe that Trey knows who to direct those words to. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think every woman he comes across are bitches and hoes. Do I personally wish he could use other words to express himself yes but I have now control over what he does.

CutTiGurl609: I think we all have our moments when we can be a little bitchy. LOL

Trey'sAngelMichelle's picture

and now this new single (What I Be On)

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