Skip directly to content

Prittbrowniiz BestSellerAngel

Me

My Comments

sec-u
“I’m not letting you go!”
“Go back in the room Shanell.”
“Babe listen to meee.” I said, with my fingers locked together at my chest begging. “Not telling you this was a big mistake. You’re right, you’re right babe. I should’ve known that I could trust you of all people with this and let you know everything between me and El early on. Not doing that is one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my life. I am sooo sorry Tremaine that I didn’t allow myself to do that. I can’t say it enough.” My hands gather up his shirt in the center, holding on to him. “Baby I love you sooo much, you gotta…” The elevator doors opened stopping me mid speech. I was somewhat blocking others from getting off, but I didn’t care.
“If I was you, I’d stay right here.” He says. He pulls my hands away and walks around me. I turn around. He touches the button inside. The elevator doors close in my face. I didn’t follow him this time like he requested. I just stood there. I couldn’t move from that spot. I wanted those doors to fly back open and him want to finish hearing me out, but it didn’t happen. Someone walks up and sees me standing there without any buttons pushed.
“Miss, were you going up or down?” Eyes in a daze I shake my head no and walked back to the room. I sat on the couch and cried. I wanted to know so badly where Trey was going. I didn’t see no Buggzi with him or Marcus…no one. I didn’t want him to be alone. I hoped as I sat there that he wasn’t alone. I wondered why this had to happen. Who would want to expose my secret and why? I sat there mad at myself for not telling Trey sooner. I had all kinds of thoughts going through my mind, but the main one was God please bring him back. That was the first step…bring him back to me. Our flight wasn’t scheduled to leave until tonight, so that gave him plenty of time to stay away from me until it was time to leave. I just hoped I wouldn’t be flying back home without him. I knew he had to get his things, since he didn’t take them with him, but then I thought he might send someone else to get them instead. My mind was racing. The thought of losing him really tugs at my heart. I honestly don’t know if he will be able to get past this, and it kills me to think like this. My phone starts ringing. I notice its Aleen. My mom must’ve told her that I was here in town maybe, or she could’ve just been calling. I really needed someone to talk too, so I answered it. She could tell I was crying and asked me what was wrong. I told her where I was staying and asked if she could come over. She did.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Did something happen with the case? Don’t tell me they sending Trey’s ass to jail, or did he get locked up already?” I sat on the couch with my legs bent, face all red and nose justa running. Aleen walks in the bathroom to get me some toilet paper to wipe my face. She notices the bedroom. “What the hell done happened in here? Were you guys fighting? If his ass…” She rants as she came over and gives me the toilet paper.
“No, Trey didn’t hit me and he’s not in jail.”
“Cousin what’s going on?”
shakes head “Trey’s gonna leave me.”
“Why?”
“I kept a secret from him, one that I’ve hidden from everyone. I told him what it was and I don’t think he’ll be able to accept it and forgive me.”
“Are you going to tell me what it is?” I didn’t speak for a few seconds. “Shanell tell me, maybe it’s not that bad. You’ve confided in me before and I haven’t let you down, so tell me what this is all about.” I wiped my eyes.
“It’s so bad, I’m ashamed to even repeat it.”
“It can’t be that bad. Did you cheat or something?”
sighs “No. Cousin before I tell you this you have to promise me number one, that you will not say anything to anyone.”
“Okay, I promise.”
“I also need you to allow me to finish telling you what I’m going to say before you interrupt.”
“Alright! What is it?” I take a deep breath.
“I had a baby by El my junior year of high school and had the child put up for adoption.”
“Aw shit! Now I gotta kick your ass too? You had a damn baby?”
“Yes! And I told Trey and now I think I’m gonna lose him.”
“How in the hell were you able to pull that off and what you keep it a secret for?”
“Aleen it’s a long story, but with El being the father I think it’s pretty obvious why.”
“What’d you have? A boy? Girl?”
“I had a girl.”
“Okay I need you to explain all this to me. I got time.” She had been still standing. She plops down beside me and crosses her legs. She leans forward placing her elbow on her knee, putting her thumb and pointer fingers on her cheek and chin, waiting for an explanation. I explained the whole story from finding out I was pregnant down to my dad taking care of the adoption. She listened intently before she responded. “I never thought I would feel bad for Trey, but in this case I do. That’s a damn shame.”
I raised my voice. “Aleen he wasn’t going to know! Nobody was if I could help it.” I could tell Aleen was fed up with me. “You and these damn secrets. When are you going to learn Shanell? You and Trey have been through so much because of secrets…you ain’t learned yet?”
“I know!”
“Apparently you don’t! You’re still sitting up here saying that he wasn’t supposed to know. That’s your problem. He should’ve known. He had every right to know. Before now!” she snapped.
“You sound like my mom right now.”
“Because we’re saying things that make since. You just wanna be so damn stubborn all the time. Keeping secrets. Why you coming clean now?”
“El’s mother found out some type of way. She went to my mom and showed her something saying El was a father and everything just spiraled from there.”
“What did Auntie say to her?”
“She didn’t know what to say to her because she didn’t know about it.”
“You even kept this from Auntie Sheila?”
“I was scared! I couldn’t tell them I was pregnant after I had just been cleared of those charges from what happened with El…they would’ve been crushed.”
“So you’re telling me that Auntie Sheila just found this out too, but from El’s mother?”
“Yeah…I never meant for things to be like this.”
“This is crazy. Does your dad know yet?”
“He knew when it happened Aleen. He’s the reason I was able to put the baby up for the adoption. If he hadn’t found out about the pregnancy I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
“This just seems to get worse with every question. Damn, do I even wanna know anything else?”
“I’ve really messed up this time, I know.”
“And not only for yourself this time. Do you realize how keeping this secret has effected everyone around you that loves you? When the same people likely would have stood by you had you told the truth?”
cries “I had my reasons then Aleen. I just didn’t want El to know. I hated him. I didn’t want his baby but I couldn’t get the abortion, so I was stuck having it.”
“I wonder how she found out and he never did, or do you think he knew?”
“I don’t know.”
“His ass managed to be a part of this family anyway. Mmm mmm mmm. How did you think you could manage hiding a child all ya life anyway? Children grow up and some want to know who their biological parents are. Did you think about that?”
“I made it clear that I didn’t want to be contacted. Aleen, what am I gonna do about Trey? I don’t wanna lose him.”
“I think you should’ve told him way before now cousin. I know you guys have had trust issues in the past, but Shanell you really thought you couldn’t trust him with this? Or were you more afraid that he would’ve left you sooner, because cousin I hate to say it, but it’s nothing you can do now.”
“Honestly, a part of me was afraid that I would lose him, so I would chicken out, but I really didn’t say anything too, because I mostly put it out of my mind like it never happened. I didn’t think this day would come.”
“So now you don’t know where Trey is, right?”
“Noowa! Ugh! I’m so stupid! Aleen that man is my world. I can’t lose him to this!”
“Is Marcus here in Atlanta?”
“Yeah.” She takes out her phone and calls him.

On: May 16, 2013

“I had a baby by El my junior year of high school and had the child put up for adoption.”
“Aw shit! Now I gotta kick your ass too? You had a damn baby?”
“Yes! And I told Trey and now I think I’m gonna lose him.”
“How in the hell were you able to pull that off and what you keep it a secret for?”
“Aleen it’s a long story, but with El being the father I think it’s pretty obvious why.”
“What’d you have? A boy? Girl?”
“I had a girl.”
“Okay I need you to explain all this to me. I got time.” She had been still standing. She plops down beside me and crosses her legs. She leans forward placing her elbow on her knee, putting her thumb and pointer fingers on her cheek and chin, waiting for an explanation. I explained the whole story from finding out I was pregnant down to my dad taking care of the adoption. She listened intently before she responded. “I never thought I would feel bad for Trey, but in this case I do. That’s a damn shame.”
I raised my voice. “Aleen he wasn’t going to know! Nobody was if I could help it.” I could tell Aleen was fed up with me. “You and these damn secrets. When are you going to learn Shanell? You and Trey have been through so much because of secrets…you ain’t learned yet?”
“I know!”
“Apparently you don’t! You’re still sitting up here saying that he wasn’t supposed to know. That’s your problem. He should’ve known. He had every right to know. Before now!” she snapped.
“You sound like my mom right now.”
“Because we’re saying things that make sense. You just wanna be so damn stubborn all the time. Keeping secrets. Why you coming clean now?”
“El’s mother found out some type of way. She went to my mom and showed her something saying El was a father and everything just spiraled from there.”
“What did Auntie say to her?”
“She didn’t know what to say to her because she didn’t know about it.”
“You even kept this from Auntie Sheila?”
“I was scared! I couldn’t tell them I was pregnant after I had just been cleared of those charges from what happened with El…they would’ve been crushed.”
“So you’re telling me that Auntie Sheila just found this out too, but from El’s mother?”
“Yeah…I never meant for things to be like this.”
“This is crazy. Does your dad know yet?”
“He knew when it happened Aleen. He’s the reason I was able to put the baby up for the adoption. If he hadn’t found out about the pregnancy I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
“This just seems to get worse with every question. Damn, do I even wanna know anything else?”
“I’ve really messed up this time, I know.”
“And not only for yourself this time. Do you realize how keeping this secret has effected everyone around you that loves you? When the same people likely would have stood by you had you told the truth?”
cries “I had my reasons then Aleen. I just didn’t want El to know. I hated him. I didn’t want his baby, but I couldn’t get the abortion, so I was stuck having it.”
“I wonder how she found out and he never did, or do you think he knew?”
“I don’t know.”
“His ass managed to be a part of this family anyway. Mmm mmm mmm. How did you think you could manage hiding a child all ya life anyway? Children grow up and some want to know who their biological parents are. Did you think about that?”
“I made it clear that I didn’t want to be contacted. Aleen, what am I gonna do about Trey? I don’t wanna lose him.”
“I think you should’ve told him way before now cousin. I know you guys have had trust issues in the past, but Shanell you really thought you couldn’t trust him with this? Or were you more afraid that he would’ve left you sooner, because cousin I hate to say it, but it’s nothing you can do now.”
“Honestly, a part of me was afraid that I would lose him, so I would chicken out, but I really didn’t say anything too, because I mostly put it out of my mind like it never happened. I didn’t think this day would come.”
“So now you don’t know where Trey is, right?”
“Noowa! Ugh! I’m so stupid! Aleen that man is my world. I can’t lose him to this!”
“Is Marcus here in Atlanta?”
“Yeah.” She takes out her phone and calls him.

On: May 16, 2013

Talk to me Tremaine! Just say it! Whatever you’re feeling! Whatever it may be! Just say it, but please don’t leave out of here without talking to meee.” He whips his arms outward making me release my grasp with that one stroke.
“If I said what I was really feeling right now you wouldn’t fuck’n like it!”
I yell. “I DON’T CARE! YELL AT ME, TELL ME HOW WRONG I AM OR HOW HURT YOU FEEL, JUST TALK TO MEEE!” He grabs me up by the arms.
“LIKE YOU DID? YOU BEEN FUCK’N LYING TO ME! ALL THIS SHIT ABOUT TRUST; BEING TRUTHFUL TO ONE ANOTHER, AND YOU BEEN HIDING THIS SHIT??? WHAT THE FUCK I’M SPOSE TO SAY RIGHT NOW SHANELL! HUH! YOU GOTTA BABY BY THAT NIGGA AND KEPT IT FROM ME! YOU KEPT DAT SHIT FROM ME!!! THE ONE YOU SAY YOU LOVE AND WANNA SPEND THE REST OF YA LIFE WITH!!! BULLSHIT!!! BUT ME…I FUCK’N LOVE YO ASS; SHOOT’N NIGGAS N’SHIT FOR YOU TRYNA DO RIGHT BY YOU AND YOU COULDN’T EVEN TRUST ME? WHAT THE FUCK I’M HERE FOR THAN…HUH?” He lets me go. I could barely speak from crying but he needed to hear me.
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU!” I belted out. “Trey not telling you has been killing meee, but baby please understand that this didn’t have anything to do with yewww…please know that Traaayyy.” His demeanor was calm again.
“There you go back on that shit again. You really think that? If so, than this ain’t our only problem. Everything I do has to do with you, but you don’t fuck’n get that I see.” He said, as he constantly drills his finger in my forehead. “Let me make things easy for you then. Since you feel like this didn’t have anything to do with me…it won’t.” He heads to the door again. I follow and pull his arm.
“NO! TREMAINE DON’T LEEEAAVE MEEE!!!” He shoves me off of him knocking me down and quickly opens the door and leaves. I get up and run after him. I couldn’t let him go. He sees me coming toward him. He’s standing waiting for the Elevator. I catch up to him. He shakes his head at me. I stand in front of him and the elevator doors panicked about him leaving me.

On: May 08, 2013

“Tremaine! You gotta know that I never meant to hurt you behind this. Baby please believe me. I wanted to tell you so bad. There were so many times that I had come close, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it for her sake…baby I’m sorreee…bangs on the door. Tremaine! Open the door and talk to meee…I was afraid okay. I didn’t want El to know about her. I didn’t tell anyone because I thought…I thought if by some chance it got out he would’ve tried to use her to get to me…or even worse, try to take her and use her as a pawn. I couldn’t let that happen…BANG! BANG! BANG! Baby pleeze…open the door and talk to me…” I cried. I heard him fussing under his breath but couldn’t make out what he was saying. “Baby I’m so sawry…God knows how sorry I am, I…I just did what I thought was right.” The next thing I hear is something clash and break. I dropped to the floor and continued to cry by the door. I knew he was furious. I just wanted to go in there and hold him, but he didn’t want me to touch him. It hurt so bad for me to feel that from him. I can only imagine the hurt he’s experiencing right now from me. I refused to move though. I stayed right there begging and pleading for him to come out. He finally opened the door and saw me sitting there. He was dressed, no longer in lounge clothes. He steps right over me. I quickly get up. He kept walking heading for the door. I was so desperate for him not to leave I tackled him from behind, but he didn’t fall. He walks me like a rag doll. I held on so tight pleading for him not to leave and to talk to me, but he still said nothing. I wasn’t letting go. He was going to have to hurt me.
“I’m not letting you walk out on me Tremaine!” He turns his head back and looks at me from the corners of his eyes. He speaks to me again in a calm tone.
“I’m telling you now Shanell, let me go.”
“No! I won’t! I know you’re disappointed and way passed angry with me right now, you may even feel that you hate me, but I’m not letting you leave like this.

On: May 08, 2013

“Trey there’s something that I need to tell you, but I’m scared.” He sits back in his seat.
“Baby just tell me.”
“…Before we met, when I was a junior in high school…” pauses…tears fall…
“Baby what is it? And why you so afraid to tell me about something that happened before we met. It’s gone be alright. Stop crying.” I wiped my eyes. He could tell it was something that I was struggling with. “Why you telling me this now anyway?”
“Baby please let me get this out…”
“Okay. Talk to me.”
“…Trey, I had a baby by El…” he stands and interrupts me.
“WHAT! You Fuck’n what?”
I blurted out the rest so he would hear me. “That I had put up for adoption!” I saw how quickly his look of concern left his face. His eyes were now bullets that were being shot at me. I felt them hitting me all over. I was dying a slow death. My fear of hurting him was now a reality. I saw it all over his face. His jaws were clinched and his temples pulsated. I got up and went beside him. I didn’t know how I should touch him, but I knew I wanted to. I struggled as I hesitated several times and dipped my hands in different spots, trying to show some type of comfort.
“Tremaine, baby say something to me…pleeze.” Even though I was in his face he wouldn’t even look at me. He just stood there motionless. The only thing that still protruded was his temple muscles as he continued to clinch his mouth shut. “Trey, I wanted to tell you so many times I…” He suddenly grabs me by the arms tightly. He had this calmness about him still, even though I could tell he was really shooting bullets at me on the inside.
“Get away from me.” He sternly says. He lets me go. I reluctantly move. He walks away from me. He went in the room and slammed the door. I knew I should’ve just left him alone, but I couldn’t. I needed him to say something to me. I pleaded with him through the door as I wept standing in front of it. My voice shrieked as I poured out my heart to him.

On: May 08, 2013
Prittbrowniiz BestSellerAngel's picture
Member name: 
BestSellerAngel
About Me: 
I'm a independent woman & mother who strives 4 the best 4 myself & my fam. I luv 2 write & would luv 2 become a famous author, which is a dream of mine, & soon 2 bcome my reality. I've jus wrote my 1st book. I know it's a process, but at least I'm n the game & I play 2 win. I'm a new fan of Trey Songz. I've always heard his music, but it wasn't until I heard "Hood Love" by MJB featuring him, that piqued my interest about him as an artist. I have all his cd's now & I'm lovin the latest 1 PPP. I"ve said it b4 & I'll say it again Trey u inspire me as a writer. I luv ur work. I can honestly say that ur songs make me feel like ur talkin 2 no1 else but me. That feels so good, esp. when ur single & u've had a long day & u need that “pick me up" or somethin 2 jus remind u that there r sum good men out there. 2 have that ability is special which is truly what u r Tremaine Neverson. I have nothin but luv 4 u as a human being, artist, & a man. U make me smile Trey Songz. Lol:-) God Bless!
Country: 
United States
Twitter Name: 
@Only1ME_Syreeta
Yes, send me a tweet on my birthday (for Trey's Angels members only): 
YES

shop