My biggest pain is having a father who I know, know where he lives, etc. and still being treated as if I asked to be here. I'm 26, and I still cry over my father not being in my life the way I need him. The most painful part is no matter how many times I've forgiven him, he still chooses to be at odds with me. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worse enemy. I have some of the most hurtful letters and emails one could receive from a father. I ask God everyday, if I've forgiven him, why does this still hurt the way it does? Father's need to understand: You are your daughter's first boyfriend.